Monday, September 6, 2010

every little thing's gonna be alright.....



My brother has been on my mind today.  I have been sending him emails updating him on what is happening at home with our family, the kids and me.  The usual things, how our friendly house ghost turned on the shower while Grace was soaking her feet, surprising her, and amazing me considering how the knob must be lifted up and she was at least three feet away from it!  I tell him how our crazy dogs make us laugh with their latest antics, and how happy his wife seemed at her baby shower.  I detail how the girls are doing in their lessons, try to send video of Grace playing the piano and email many pictures so he can feel like he is here with us in spirit.
Some days I go along busy in my own way, aware of his absence but not really focusing on it.  Other days like today, I wonder how he is doing, how his men are doing, how their families are holding up.  I am amazed at the ease in which we can correspond.  He has email.  He has called my parents.  I did not expect to have any correspondence with him at all.  I figured email would be sporadic and phone calls not allowed.  When I think of war, I guess I think of desert isolation, tribal nations and the threat of violence.  My heart leaps every time I see his name in my inbox!  He is on patrol, doing his job, keeping his men safe.  He writes of the local people, especially the children, most not able to attend any type of school since the Afghani government stopped paying teachers.  He told of dogs, much larger than any of ours (my sister’s is over 100lbs!) that roam the roads.  We are eagerly waiting for a picture.  Knowing my brother, he will feed one, befriend it and call it his poopsie.  Yes, my 6’5” brother calls his dog poopsie.
He said he has gained some of the weight he has lost while in training.  The care packages my parents are sending must be supplementing his MREs.  Their dining room table is an assembly line of tuna fish, pop tarts, protein drinks, gatorade, granola and m&ms.  He said he was appreciative of the New York paper we have been sending, so he can stay on top of what is happening here at home.  
Sometimes it just does not seem possible that while I go about my daily life, worrying about the girls, their studies, if my house is clean, if I will be ready for a birthday party on Friday, he is worrying about life and death... and not just his own.  We each struggle with our own worries.  They are significant because they are our worries.  But when I worry over something trivial, like if I will be able to find Harry Potter plates for Grace’s party Friday, I find myself saying "really?"  Is this really important enough to worry over?  Most often, it is not.  Worry is watching for land mines, not party plates.  Worry is not having a meal to eat, not if my children will like the meal they are offered.  Worry is being in the line of fire, not being late because you were stuck behind a school bus.  There are things that justify our worry.  And then there are things that clearly do not.  Having my brother at war has made that a little clearer for me.

13 comments:

Theresa said...

I so admire your writing, Jess, and I am so glad to hear Paul is well!

Jessica said...

Thanks Theresa!

mamak said...

So glad your brother is doing well. So thrilled at how easily you all can communicate. It's amazing. How bizarrely awesome about house ghost! You know I love it! And your right when we take a breath to say is this worth our worry or aggreavation? 9 out of 10, it's a big fat no way.

Amy said...

Stopping by to say "Hi" from the Hip Homeschool Hop! Have a great day!

Karen said...

Kei's letter to Paul is almost finished. You may should warn him, she writes like she knows him. LOL

We pray for him every night. Hugs Theresa.

Jessica said...

Karen, I will give him the heads up!

Kim - he/she/it has been quiet for a long time but we took out the window seat in our dining room and it happened that evening. Since everything is so harmless, we just laugh! Grace however, was not laughing!

Tiffany said...

Thank you to your brother, and to your whole family, for the sacrifices he is/you all are making. We are grateful and indebted to you and the families of all of our service people. It is wonderful to be reminded what is really important.

Theresa said...

When I hear about people making such huge sacrifices, it really makes me pause and think. As Tiffany said, we are all indebted to you and the other families that make these sacrifices, the men on the front lines especially. I will keep you family in my prayers.

Jessica said...

This is one of those situations where you just have to let God take the wheel. There are so many families in the same situation as ours and while I miss him terribly, I can only imagine how my sister-in-law feels worrying and preparing to have their first baby next month. She is the one who needs our prayers. She will be without a husband for the first six months of her son's life.

My entire family appreciates your thoughts and prayers!

Daisy said...

Great post. We'll add your brother & his family to our family's prayer list.

Jessica said...

Thank you Daisy.

Lins said...

Wow... Praying for your brother and so thankful for him, and the men and women like him, for their incredible service to our country. I find myself worrying over the little things, too. Next time I catch myself doing it, I'll remember to stop and pray. Blessings to you... and good luck with those Harry Potter plates! :)

Jessica said...

Lins, my mother found Harry Potter plates and napkins and a little Harry Potter banner that said Happy Birthday. She once again proved to be the best Gramma ever! Not that the party needed them, it was perfect just the way it was, but they did add a nice touch!

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