|my chalkboard wall this morning!|
When I was in graduate school for education I remember learning that the teaching profession followed air traffic controllers and doctors as a profession with the greatest amount of daily decision making. I have no reference to that study to give you, so just go with me that it may be incorrect, but you get the idea.....
I remember coming home, after being surrounded by twenty-five 8 year olds completely and totally wiped out. Should I spend one more day on addition with regrouping? Can I give them 5 more minutes of recess? Should I send a child to check on Johnny who has been in the bathroom far to long? Oh no! There is an assembly?! When will I readjust read aloud and writer’s workshop? Fire drill! Coats on! Let’s quickly review the routine. Do you remember the routine? And so it would go on and on and on. Until I would come home tired from hearing my own voice inside my brain.
But my day was far from done. I had an infant to deal with. Meals to make. Baths to give. Stories to read. Snuggling to be had. And then after her bedtime which was generally around six pm for the first three years of her life, I moved on to my third job of the day....correcting papers, planning for the next day, writing lesson plans, reviewing journal responses, etc.
Now combine the two jobs: teaching and motherhood. I think this new job of mine may beat out air traffic controller for the most decisions made daily! Instead of 25 children with 25 unique needs to be met, I have only two children now, but the two I have are my own. My own children to teach, guide and help grow into the young ladies they are becoming. That is an awesome responsibility. As a homeschooling Mom the decisions are never ending. They are made with speed and decisiveness at times. Other times they are pondered and questioned and reviewed at times ad nauseum! I can’t pass the decision making off to anyone else. I can seek advice, educate myself and give myself permission to make mistakes but the ultimate responsibility falls on my shoulders.
There are days now where I am exponentially more tired than I was when I was teaching. But there are days when I feel I have made the right decision, chose wisely, and I feel invigorated and energized. This past fall I had days where I wondered and prayed if I made the right decision for both my girls to chose this life of homeshooling and now when I look at the results of that decision, I pray that this way of life continues for a very long time.