Friday, August 3, 2012

What Matters Most

I have been feeling a bit weird lately.  Not weird sick or weird hormonal, but weird nostalgic.  I have been missing my 24 year old self, the self who was just beginning to figure things out and quite frankly, figured many things out wrong.  Bottom line, is I am starting to feel old-er.  I miss my blond hair, my contact lenses, my non-existent stomach, my karate-lean muscles, my ability to rock a bikini and my talent to stay up past midnight.  I miss spontaneous dates with Greg -- dates to New York City to eat amazing food, catch tickets to random plays, see concerts and sporting events.  I miss looking at each other and saying “hey...lets to go Miami this weekend and visit our dear friend Oscar.”  My kids have yet to meet their “Uncle” Oscar.  That is a shame.  He’s quite fun.....  

.....but in some ways it is like I am missing someone I no longer know.  That version of me is not who looks back at me in the mirror anymore.  It is not the physical changes that make the difference.  I know my hair has more silver in it than ever before, and my crow’s feet, er, laugh lines are just that -- LAUGH lines.  I know I may never rock a bikini again but I could if I put the effort into reshaping this body that has birthed two beautiful daughters, but that is not where I want to focus my time and my energy right now.
Right now I want to enjoy every minute of this life I am living and living well.  Our days of spontaneous trips to Maine and Miami may be on hold for now, but when a friend asks if I can come for a visit, I say hell yes! 

I have noticed that some things definetely get better with age!
Like how to prepare a fine meal.  

Enjoy a game.

Appreciate nature.

Find joy.

Be present in the moment.

Appreciate the gifts that this life has given you.

Would I really want to go back to my 24 year old self?  No way.  My life is rich now because of the gifts of friendship that have been bestowed upon me.  Over the years I have learned that friendship is not something to take for granted, to ignore, to assume, or to neglect.  The offering of friendship is the offering of a piece of someone’s soul.    
What matters most in life is not how one looks at the beach or how many vacations we get to take each year.  
What matters the most is who we choose to share ourselves with and who in turn shares themselves with us.

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